April B Sunshine

I titled this post delusional as it is my current frame of mind these days. ... Let me explain.  Most of you are here because you received a copy/pasted text or email that's directed you here. Most of you are family or friends , clients or customers I've "collected" over the years. I love each and every one of you, but most of you are grossly missing that part we all miss when we end up saying the phrase, "I didn't even know they were sick". I just got out of the hospital again... and you know my story telling ass totally wants to tell you how the hospital effed up and almost killed me. Not even exaggerating. I'll save it for the few that want to know and share it on TikTok.  Now...don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm not upset at anyone. In fact, this text is being written with my usual sly smile. I'm razzing you, but still being serious. I'm merely delusionally going to ask for help. The very thing I'm not good at doing. I sup...

The mind and the heart don't speak the same language. Did you know that? The frequency is different.  It's like wanting to listen to country music on a sports radio station, and thus, the want is lacking. . It's because of this, letting go of a love is the hardest thing the heart would ever have to do. The brain creates the most elaborate argument of protection for the heart. The brain lays out all the reasons letting go is the best course of action but the heart doesn't understand.  . The hardest part, is that the heart experienced something extraordinary, once in an eternity even, and no rationale, other than it's own frequency will compell it to change course. There is no comprehenion why it shouldn't feel something it's been living in for months or even years.  . The hardest part, is the very thing it does best, feel, and all of a sudden it's being prevented from doing so. emotions becomes poisons. None of which it wants to consume. All of which it...

  Emergency rooms, with their overwhelming smell of cleanliness and vacancy of audible conversations, are precisely the place to have tiny epiphanies. Those little universal collisions of black holes, creating a ripple of consequences, become the forks of one’s life. Moments of awareness, some higher power slows time down to give you a chance to process your reality. I wanted to believe that I was alone that night in the emergency room because I was strong enough to manage on my own. Sitting in that lobby, my body woven in a fetal position, I realized I’d been holding on to this delusional faith that if you could have…. You would have.     That morning, when I was told, you have until October to clearly see your baseline, I had hope. I hadn’t spent months in debilitating pain, yet. I had hope because I’d been through this before and I’d experienced a miracle. I grasped tight to the hope in every word every spoken to me because I had faith in something I wasn’...

  Sale Link OFFICIAL SALE Abstract Artista by April Gutierrez $32.28 Product Details This is the ONLY place you will have access to purchasing this poetry book. This is April's first, and possibly only, poetry/art collection release. The poems span from grieving the loss of a loved one, a romantic partner, as well as the loss of ones self. Written in 3 parts, several poems in each section were inspired by original art pieces April created since 2020. These are paintings that have either sold or have been digitally altered. The middle section of written pieces were created from the voice of several characters April has published since her writing career began in 2008. Official Release Date is September 20, 2024. Price will increase to $42.28 on October 19th, 2024. Shipping is set to $3.33. For orders of more than 1 book, please email aprilbsunshinebooks@gmail.com.

  Dear No One, What can I say to make you more comfortable? You're here because you've become curious about what I write. You've seen me live, or you've watched a reel...regardless, I suppose I should say thank you and welcome. Unfortunately, I feel you'll soon become bored.  The writings on this page will no longer be ramblings that surface from thoughts I've decided not to dump and have yet to process. No...the writing on this page will be purely from my imagination. The focal point will be characters I'll always identify in the title.  Why write a fictional blog, why not a book? : I want to write without the confinement of judgement. Fact of the matter, for me, my writing was never about releasing a story, but writing in general. I only managed to 'complete' 9 novels because I had support helping me to focus on completion. I don't have that anymore, and I don't want it, to be honest.  I was given a ticking clock and boy, is it getting loud...