April B Sunshine

The mind and the heart don't speak the same language. Did you know that? The frequency is different.  It's like wanting to listen to country music on a sports radio station, and thus, the want is lacking. . It's because of this, letting go of a love is the hardest thing the heart would ever have to do. The brain creates the most elaborate argument of protection for the heart. The brain lays out all the reasons letting go is the best course of action but the heart doesn't understand.  . The hardest part, is that the heart experienced something extraordinary, once in an eternity even, and no rationale, other than it's own frequency will compell it to change course. There is no comprehenion why it shouldn't feel something it's been living in for months or even years.  . The hardest part, is the very thing it does best, feel, and all of a sudden it's being prevented from doing so. emotions becomes poisons. None of which it wants to consume. All of which it...

  Emergency rooms, with their overwhelming smell of cleanliness and vacancy of audible conversations, are precisely the place to have tiny epiphanies. Those little universal collisions of black holes, creating a ripple of consequences, become the forks of one’s life. Moments of awareness, some higher power slows time down to give you a chance to process your reality. I wanted to believe that I was alone that night in the emergency room because I was strong enough to manage on my own. Sitting in that lobby, my body woven in a fetal position, I realized I’d been holding on to this delusional faith that if you could have…. You would have.     That morning, when I was told, you have until October to clearly see your baseline, I had hope. I hadn’t spent months in debilitating pain, yet. I had hope because I’d been through this before and I’d experienced a miracle. I grasped tight to the hope in every word every spoken to me because I had faith in something I wasn’...